Stylised Monologue

Sunday 22 April 2012

The stylish guide to infected sinuses

Hello, my name is Daphne and I am a negligent blogger.

everyone: Hiiii Daphne. 


Right, so now that the whole guilt over never blogging is out of the way, lets move on to an important subject I feel people don't talk about much. Illness in fashion. So, say you have a cold that seemed like it would only annoy you for a couple of days but has ended up tormenting you for about a week, slowly turning from a slight cough into voice elimination and finally (i hope) into a full on sinus infection. This shiz is no joke, it hurts. I know, the first time I blog properly since pretty much Valentine's day, and I do it while I'm ill. Maybe it's the fever typing, but I have decided to lay down the facts of how to look good (term used extremely loosely) when ill. Ultimately, fashion is about making yourself feel better, more attractive, more confident and no amount of face puffiness or Rudolf the red nose reindeer resemblance can beat a damn good kimono.

THE STYLISH GUIDE TO INFECTED SINUSES/PNEUMONIA HYBRID

  • First and foremost, you have to be good to your body. Dr Google strongly advocates that vitamin C is the way to go. I personally am very fond of this specific vitamin. It hides in a variety of yummy stuff including oranges. So, the moment the area around your eyebrows starts feeling like a little wind up monkey is playing the cymbals on your eyeballs, send your personal slave (boyfriend, parent, sibling, housemate or real slave in which case I probably don't like you very much) to get squeezing them vitamin c filled balls. Once that's done, pour them in a wine glass, this is all about styyyyle darling. Champagne or martini glass is also acceptable. 

(OK so there's not much you can do about your actual face unless your skin can deal with make-up, if it's sore/puffy like mine, it will very possibly be 100% make up intolerant) 

  • Now, just because your body is rebelling against you, it doesn't mean that you have to drown it in unfashionable clothing. Feel good from the outside inwards. Of course I am not completely delusional (although slightly feverish), I know that you have to be comfortable and simultaneously warm enough but in breathable material. Kimono - Illness 1-0!

  • Obviously, since we're talking about fashion, heels are mandatory but I would pick the comfiest you own. 

And there you have it, infected sinuses/pneumonia chic nailed. 

Alternatively,  you can just ignore all the above and recover slowly spending day after day in bed with Don Draper, sudafed and vitamin c whilst clad in old hole adorned tracksuit bottoms and looking like yourself. If I'm honest, I've long chosen this route. 



(p.s these photos are all taken while I'm actually ill. Never ever say I'm vain hahaha) 

1 comment:

  1. Brilliantly funny as ever!
    Get well soon. x x

    ReplyDelete